Here's a back to school math problem for you: If Beau was at day care one day in February and got sick the first day and has now been back at day care for two weeks and one day, how many times has Beau been to the doctor? Give up? About a bizillion(remember, this is MelissaMath)! Oh, and we could never be so lucky for it to be some measly little cough, oh noooo. Beau has to do it up and break out in a full body rash that makes me itch to think about it, leak green gobs of goo from ears and nose, sneeze out gunk that makes everyone yell "OMG, ewwwww, get it, get it, hurry". Then he does this number: I refuse to eat (thrash around, yell, kick, buck), give me my cup(gobble, gobble, gobble), I cannot and will not eat that garbage you call food (slams plate at me, clamps mouth shut, throws head to side, closes eyes, and grunts), why are you starving me (basically licks the plate and bowl clean). He plays, he won't play, he whines, he screams, he sleeps (we won't talk about where lest I have to listen to or read comments from mothers who wish to berate me about how my child is going to somehow wind up being some freak of nature due to his current sleeping arrangement), because sometimes he's up all night. It's FAB-U-FREAKIN'-LOUS I tell you!
That has been...well, where I've been. A doctor's office...or the hospital, take your pick. It's been Beau, then Mommy, then Beau again, followed by Mommy, and then throw in Daddy for good measure. Then the cycle begins again. We've gone through: tubes, pneumonia, surgery, endless rounds O'antibiotics, allergy testing, immune system testing, end of daycare w/sitter, back to daycare. The end result thus far: 'Y'all are just going to have to wait this out because we really can't find anything horribly wrong'. AKA- you two are some sickly folks. "Gracias, doctor. I really wish we could have cleared that up BEFORE we got into medical debt for 'no apparent reason'?" Yeah, because don't EVEN get me started about the new school insurance for Alabama ("At least it covers Well Baby Check Ups"...yes, well that would have been great when he was born, not so much now.) Vent complete.
I don't feel good and I am trying to finish my chores. Could you puh-leeze leave me alone ?
I know, I know- back to 'el doctor'. I'll get in by myself.
You two are slow. I'll drive myself to the doctor. It's not like I don't know the way.
