We're back from Pennsylvania and all in one piece-for the most part!
Day 1:
Depart Atlanta-10 pm on Air Tran.
Depart Atlanta-10 pm on Air Tran.
"We get to ride in THAT big car...yay!"
We thought (operative word) a late flight would be good because the head of household would be sleeping. You see, I had delusions of grandeur that I would feed Beau on time, he would be sleeping, Air Tran would board the mommies and babies with all their crap first (as in BEFORE every one else, like they are supposed to do and did for EVERY other flight around us), we would board the plane with a sleeping Beau, passengers would smile and give us an appreciative nod, and the pilot would present me with a Mother of the Flight Award.
Not so much. I did what I was going to do and Beau went right to sleep in the noisy Atlanta airport. Passengers smiled (sort of-you know that half smile when they realize they will be on a plane with a baby- yeah, that one). Then Air Tran committed the ultimate sin, they forgot to board the mommies and babies with all their crap first. Soooo, I had to wait our turn then run the gamut saying "Excuse me, pardon, coming through, sleeping baby, sorry about hitting you in the back of the head with the diaper bag..." Thank goodness Beau slept on even as we squeezed into a seat.
My precious gift from God slept right up until 'Mumbles' (the Indian American) sat down and started pestering his kid. The very minute he started a count down "game" that his kid wanted no part of, Beau sat up straight as a board like "Where's the party?". At that very moment I saw eye rolls, and heard groans from the passengers around us. We weren't even off the tarmac yet.
'Mumbles' continued to pester his child, and my child discovered that he could scream in a "fun" way. The other passengers were not as excited as Evan I were that he had a new sound. They were relieved when 'Mumbles' and 'Mumbles Jr.' shut up and Beau finally passed out from exhaustion. Evan and I finally stopped plotting against 'Mumbles'. Needless to say, when we asked for wings for Beau, they couldn't find any.
On arrival to Allentown, PA we took a cab to the Crack (I mean Quality) Inn. We had done our research via the Internet (oh Internet, how you have failed me!) but it didn't mention Creepy Guy in Squeaky Wheelchair or Scary Dude in Elevator. Nor did it mention that the crib we reserved was circa 1776 complete with rusty coat hanger tie. Since it was 2am I decided to make the best of the situation...we were only going to be there until the rental car place opened.
"Does this place have bedbugs? I've heard stories about those."
Day 2:
"Ain't no party like a Scranton party 'cause a Scranton party don't stop."
And we're off...on the PA Turnpike...saying, "OMG, why are we on the Turnpike? Does anyone have any cash? How much is this going to cost? Can you read that ticket? It wouldn't really cost us $30 just to get to Scranton...would it?" It only cost us around 3 bucks and it was the quickest way to get there.What did we make a bee line to find when we got there? You guessed it...Dunder Mifflin Paper Company...well, the building they show at the beginning of the "Office".
For all the nay sayers out there, it's there along with tons of other "Office" landmarks. We know this because we did a tour and even ate at Alfredo's Pizza Cafe where the pizza does NOT taste like "hot garbage". Alfredo's is also where we were reminded that were, indeed, NOT in the South and could not order sweet tea. There were not enough sugar packets in the restaurant to make that tea sweet. We ordered water which apparently made us look cheap (Learn how to make sweet tea and I'll pay your 2.79 a glass).Next we went to a coal mine that had closed for the day (we don't read so good apparently), and went on the ultimate quest to find the old Ross homestead which no longer had a home on it (yep, needle in Pennsylvania). About the quest...here I must pause because this took us through the Greatest. Town. Ever.-Hop Bottom, PA. To get the full effect of Hop Bottom, PA ask me to say it for you the next time I see you (note: you must make a gang sign for Hop Bottom and snap your fingers after PA). This town has a population of about 100, maybe 200. It is completely storybook. I felt like I had stepped back in time. We went into the Hop Bottom General Store and they had ONE of everything. ONE I tell you...well, maybe they had two bottles of water. We also saw amazing vistas (said every single time something cool was seen from the car).
Overlooking Scranton
Lehigh Valley Railroad Bridge near Hop Bottom, PAFinally on to the hotel. I had such high hopes...then I saw it. Before we even pulled in, I officially revoked Evan's rights to make hotel reservations. Grrrr...no mini fridge, no tub, and there was the distinct odor of old stuff- awesome! Housekeeping was interesting- a Wal-Mart cart full of your basic cleaning supplies along with a Staples basket (inventive I tell you!). Please tell me how this place got "excellent" reviews. Did the hotel pay homeless folks to complete these reviews?
That evening Beau met his Aunt Carol and Uncle David for dinner where Beau decided to show out and play snatch and grab (including Aunt Carol's Bloody Mary). He acted like he hated all food except whatever was on the plate nearest him and had various diaper issues. He wanted water out of a glass and to throw green beans all over the table...fun times for all!
Day 3:
Lakawanna State Park- Ross Family Reunion- 11 am
Evan and I quickly realize that we are there solely because we are the parents of the newest member of the family. We are there for these specific reasons: the baby is A. smelly B. hungry C. cranky, or D. heavy. Also, we are there to hold him while others eat.
I met so many people that there was no way to keep them straight. If someone asked me did I remember So-And-So during the course of a story, I just nodded my head enthusiastically. The one family I will not ever forget is the Kramers…ahhhh, the Kramers. Modern day hippies with a twist. If you were to meet one of the Kramer kids on the street you would think, “Oh, another emo kid, wonder what he is rebelling against?”. Of course then you meet the parents and are puzzled. The dad reminds of a MIT genius, a bit nerdy and the mom is so sweet- Beau just loved her. Because the kids wore the black attire with tons of bracelets/piercings of today, I expected them to be all, “Psha…leave me alone…I need to express myself with some creepy poetry.” Instead they were playing the guitar…all of them…and when the mom said, “Let’s go for a hike.” they all got up (no griping or whining) and went…and seemed to enjoy it. Now according to their grandma they also ALL play various instruments and routinely have “jam” sessions in the basement. I can’t help but think of the Partridge family and wonder if they pack up an old VW van and play gigs.
Let me take a minute to tell you why I’ve talked about the musical talents of the Kramers. You see, Beau was tired…freakin’ exhausted, but he was too afraid that he was going to miss the exciting party so he fought sleep with every ounce of his 22 lb. body. At close to 4pm I bounced, giggled, walked, and sang him to sleep finally. Grandma Debbie found a shady spot under a tree and I finally put him down. Now as I was doing this I remember hearing Evan say, “bagpipes” but I paid him no attention. That is until I looked up and to my horror I see the eldest Kramer sporting bagpipes and getting ready for a show. All I can think is, “You have got to be kidding me”. Alas, no. Beau came alive like someone had tazered him. He gave me a look that said, “What the ….?” and then his bottom lip began to quiver. Guess who never napped again?
That evening Beau met his Aunt Carol and Uncle David for dinner where Beau decided to show out and play snatch and grab (including Aunt Carol's Bloody Mary). He acted like he hated all food except whatever was on the plate nearest him and had various diaper issues. He wanted water out of a glass and to throw green beans all over the table...fun times for all!
Day 3:
Lakawanna State Park- Ross Family Reunion- 11 am
Evan and I quickly realize that we are there solely because we are the parents of the newest member of the family. We are there for these specific reasons: the baby is A. smelly B. hungry C. cranky, or D. heavy. Also, we are there to hold him while others eat.
I met so many people that there was no way to keep them straight. If someone asked me did I remember So-And-So during the course of a story, I just nodded my head enthusiastically. The one family I will not ever forget is the Kramers…ahhhh, the Kramers. Modern day hippies with a twist. If you were to meet one of the Kramer kids on the street you would think, “Oh, another emo kid, wonder what he is rebelling against?”. Of course then you meet the parents and are puzzled. The dad reminds of a MIT genius, a bit nerdy and the mom is so sweet- Beau just loved her. Because the kids wore the black attire with tons of bracelets/piercings of today, I expected them to be all, “Psha…leave me alone…I need to express myself with some creepy poetry.” Instead they were playing the guitar…all of them…and when the mom said, “Let’s go for a hike.” they all got up (no griping or whining) and went…and seemed to enjoy it. Now according to their grandma they also ALL play various instruments and routinely have “jam” sessions in the basement. I can’t help but think of the Partridge family and wonder if they pack up an old VW van and play gigs.
Let me take a minute to tell you why I’ve talked about the musical talents of the Kramers. You see, Beau was tired…freakin’ exhausted, but he was too afraid that he was going to miss the exciting party so he fought sleep with every ounce of his 22 lb. body. At close to 4pm I bounced, giggled, walked, and sang him to sleep finally. Grandma Debbie found a shady spot under a tree and I finally put him down. Now as I was doing this I remember hearing Evan say, “bagpipes” but I paid him no attention. That is until I looked up and to my horror I see the eldest Kramer sporting bagpipes and getting ready for a show. All I can think is, “You have got to be kidding me”. Alas, no. Beau came alive like someone had tazered him. He gave me a look that said, “What the ….?” and then his bottom lip began to quiver. Guess who never napped again?
Bagpipe Kramer
Evan captured our expressions as the bagpipe played on...thankfully you really can't see mine.
We said our goodbyes and we were off to Fogelsville and a nice hotel (Evan’s rights have been reinstated).
Day 4:
Philadelphia-Fourth of July
Late start due to Beau Kenevil. We get to Philly and I have our day mapped out…where to park, in which order to walk/see things, museums with changing tables, etc. What I did NOT consider was that the northeast was going to be at the start of a record-breaking heat wave and hot as Hades...not good, not good at all…but we’ve got plenty of water and sun block so we soldier on making sure to take plenty of air conditioned breaks!
Things said in Philly:
Seriously, how far? It's hot. Cobblestone is ridiculous I have about vibrated Beau right out of the stroller-how did they do it with wooden wheels? I wish the stroller wheels were in Egypt. Sorry, I had the map the wrong way…it’s five block in the other direction. It’s really hot. Are you kidding me that’s the line? Are you telling me we walked all this way and they closed early? Is that a guy? Please don’t give my child a pointy little flag, he’s going to put in his mouth or stab himself in the eye. Beau, stop touching that! Beau, stop biting mommy! It’s sooooo hot. Here ye, here ye Beau has been found guilty of being a party pooper. It’s four o’clock and all’s well.(last two said multiple times with British accent while Beau sported his tricorner hat. We looked for a powdered wig but couldn’t find one).
Day 4:
Philadelphia-Fourth of July
Late start due to Beau Kenevil. We get to Philly and I have our day mapped out…where to park, in which order to walk/see things, museums with changing tables, etc. What I did NOT consider was that the northeast was going to be at the start of a record-breaking heat wave and hot as Hades...not good, not good at all…but we’ve got plenty of water and sun block so we soldier on making sure to take plenty of air conditioned breaks!
Things said in Philly:
Seriously, how far? It's hot. Cobblestone is ridiculous I have about vibrated Beau right out of the stroller-how did they do it with wooden wheels? I wish the stroller wheels were in Egypt. Sorry, I had the map the wrong way…it’s five block in the other direction. It’s really hot. Are you kidding me that’s the line? Are you telling me we walked all this way and they closed early? Is that a guy? Please don’t give my child a pointy little flag, he’s going to put in his mouth or stab himself in the eye. Beau, stop touching that! Beau, stop biting mommy! It’s sooooo hot. Here ye, here ye Beau has been found guilty of being a party pooper. It’s four o’clock and all’s well.(last two said multiple times with British accent while Beau sported his tricorner hat. We looked for a powdered wig but couldn’t find one).
"Why do my parents do this to me? Good thing I'm cute enough to pull this off!"Things witnessed in Philly that, come on, really, on the Fourth?
"Preachers"(I don't know what they were other than inappropriate)preaching on the sins of the flesh, George Washington protesters (apparently he enslaved the nine and they are ticked off still), pro-lifers with THE most disgusting posters that were way taller than me (the same two ladies seemed to follow us around until Evan finally said something to them about the day being a family day and children seeing those gross pics), and an Obama protester.
When we realized that the major attractions were closing up shop for the big concert and fireworks extravaganza we headed back to the car via Chinatown not realizing that we were within blocks of Gino’s and Pat’s, the two competing Philly Cheese Steak joints. Evan still brings that up and I have to say I would have like to have judged the two. Back to the hotel to pack.
Day 5:
Allentown Airport- 5am
Beau wakes up as elevator door in hotel closes…crap. Drop off rental car. Holy cow-have to walk a zillion miles to check in because no shuttle running. Seriously- no computer check in, and Air Tran homies are slow as molasses.
While standing in security we hear, “Final boarding for Atlanta…”. Panic sets in because security guru is checking everything down to dental work before sending us through to X-ray. Here’s the kicker- we’re held up at security because apparently Little Bosephus is a security threat with his bottles and sealed Gerber foods(neither of which are subject to testing according to the TSA website). Bottles were removed from diaper bag at which point my son had a come apart. He actually yelled and leaned towards her like, “Hey lady, you don’t have clearance to touch the ba-ba! Stop touching the ba-bas now!” She said, “Apparently I’m not very popular today with the kids.” Really, what would make you think that? Another announcement and we aren’t finished with the rifling through of Beau’s bags. At this point Evan gives me the boarding passes and tells me to run to the gate.
Now normally I make it a practice not to run anywhere (the sweat and all), but this time I bolted up two escalators blowing past kids and the elderly (my apologies) all the way to our gate which, of course, was the VERY LAST ONE. I could barely talk by the time I got there because I was out of breath and my chest was on fire. Thankfully the girl seemed bored and understood my broken up, breathy story. She asked if Evan was on his way up the stairs and I lied(dear Lord forgive me) and she did whatever it is the gate person does that got us on the plane. At that point I ran back down the stairs, praying the whole time that I didn’t miss Evan and Beau. My husband is so smart! He only went up one level at a time so we wouldn't miss each other. The fact that he managed both carry ons, diaper bag, travel system, and Beau is amazing. We finally got on our plane only to find out that Mr. Air Tran Check-in Homie screwed up our seats so we wound up having to gate check the car seat. We were the last ones boarding the plane with a very excited Beau. Picture, if you will, the expressions of the other passengers. There is nothing like being the belle of the ball!
Needless to say Beau was up-ready to entertain and be entertained. He did great…he even earned his first set of wings given by a pilot deadheading to Atlanta. Me thinks he may have wanted to shut us up, but whatever it takes.
"Preachers"(I don't know what they were other than inappropriate)preaching on the sins of the flesh, George Washington protesters (apparently he enslaved the nine and they are ticked off still), pro-lifers with THE most disgusting posters that were way taller than me (the same two ladies seemed to follow us around until Evan finally said something to them about the day being a family day and children seeing those gross pics), and an Obama protester.
When we realized that the major attractions were closing up shop for the big concert and fireworks extravaganza we headed back to the car via Chinatown not realizing that we were within blocks of Gino’s and Pat’s, the two competing Philly Cheese Steak joints. Evan still brings that up and I have to say I would have like to have judged the two. Back to the hotel to pack.
Day 5:
Allentown Airport- 5am
Beau wakes up as elevator door in hotel closes…crap. Drop off rental car. Holy cow-have to walk a zillion miles to check in because no shuttle running. Seriously- no computer check in, and Air Tran homies are slow as molasses.
While standing in security we hear, “Final boarding for Atlanta…”. Panic sets in because security guru is checking everything down to dental work before sending us through to X-ray. Here’s the kicker- we’re held up at security because apparently Little Bosephus is a security threat with his bottles and sealed Gerber foods(neither of which are subject to testing according to the TSA website). Bottles were removed from diaper bag at which point my son had a come apart. He actually yelled and leaned towards her like, “Hey lady, you don’t have clearance to touch the ba-ba! Stop touching the ba-bas now!” She said, “Apparently I’m not very popular today with the kids.” Really, what would make you think that? Another announcement and we aren’t finished with the rifling through of Beau’s bags. At this point Evan gives me the boarding passes and tells me to run to the gate.
Now normally I make it a practice not to run anywhere (the sweat and all), but this time I bolted up two escalators blowing past kids and the elderly (my apologies) all the way to our gate which, of course, was the VERY LAST ONE. I could barely talk by the time I got there because I was out of breath and my chest was on fire. Thankfully the girl seemed bored and understood my broken up, breathy story. She asked if Evan was on his way up the stairs and I lied(dear Lord forgive me) and she did whatever it is the gate person does that got us on the plane. At that point I ran back down the stairs, praying the whole time that I didn’t miss Evan and Beau. My husband is so smart! He only went up one level at a time so we wouldn't miss each other. The fact that he managed both carry ons, diaper bag, travel system, and Beau is amazing. We finally got on our plane only to find out that Mr. Air Tran Check-in Homie screwed up our seats so we wound up having to gate check the car seat. We were the last ones boarding the plane with a very excited Beau. Picture, if you will, the expressions of the other passengers. There is nothing like being the belle of the ball!
Needless to say Beau was up-ready to entertain and be entertained. He did great…he even earned his first set of wings given by a pilot deadheading to Atlanta. Me thinks he may have wanted to shut us up, but whatever it takes.
"Flight attendant, I'll have an infant 5 Hour Energy 'cause I am never going to sleep. This is too much fun!"Beau finally fell asleep in the Atlanta airport while riding the train en route to get to the car.
6 States in 6 Months... He's on a roll-literally!
6 States in 6 Months... He's on a roll-literally!
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